Now, let me preface this by saying that I think television is garbage; junk food for the mind.
Throughout my entire University career, I have never had television. That being said, I do have an enormous DVD collection. Within that collection, sits one of the best TV shows that has ever aired.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me take this opportunity to say that I am an Arrested Development fan. I could expound the virtues of this wonderful program for hours, but will not. Instead here is a short collection of some the best quotes from it’s (sadly) short run:
Gob: You know, I sort of thought my contribution could be a magic show.
Michael: Oh, that’s perfect, Gob.
Gob: Thank you.
Michael: Or, wait a minute. I just remembered something — Dad’s retiring, not turning six.
Tobias: When a man needs to prove to a woman that he’s actually.. When a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love, um, to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and great focus he is often able to achieve an erec…
George Michael: I’m sorry, I’m going to stop you here. I didn’t mean babies in general.
Tobias: Oh good, ’cause it was about to get a little – eww – gross.
Buster: I’m a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.
Lucille: Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.
Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.
Michael: Really? When did that start?
Tobias: Well, I don’t want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn’t help.
Michael: We have a private eye, huh?
Lucille: Oh, I hired him a hundred years ago to find out if your father was cheating on me. He never did find anything.
Michael: Well, he can’t be very good then.
George Michael: It’s the girl who ripped my heart out. The girl whose face will always be etched in my mind.
George Sr.: Her?
George Michael: [long pause] She’s really funny.
George Sr.: Well let’s hope so.
Lucille: Oh, please. I’ve been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol’s the reason I’m here, I got news for you, bub, it’s the only reason you’re here, too.
Michael: Hey, you’re mean sober, too.
Michael: Great. I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me. I would pay you.
Rita: You’ll pay me?
Michael: Not… Not for sex. You’re going to think that I’m Jack the Ripper, right? Didn’t he kill prostitutes or…?
Rita: I’m not a prostitute.
Michael: Then I shall let you live.
GOB: Buster’s the one who hit her, I just gave her the roofie!…
Michael: Roofie?
GOB: Forget-me-now.
Michael: You..beat and drugged Rita?
GOB: [trying to force a forget-me-now down Michael's throat] Take this and love us again!
Seriously. If you have not seen this show, make every effort to do so immediately.
Adam Vossepoel
President
